Act I - Scene I: Interior Shot.
Old gymnasium - middle school or high school - light filters through large windows casting inconsistent shadows. As camera scans from ceiling we see basketball backboards in upright position, there are 20 - 25 people sitting in metal chairs (the old, heavy metal kind that fold, not the new plastic ones that stack). People range in age from 18 to 70 - some shabby, some blue collar, some affluent. A fat man, strangely alluring and intellectual stands in front as if giving a lecture - he speaks:
DV: My name is Don Vito.
All: (Hello Don Vito)
DV: I am a junkie. I am addicted to the Sopranos. It has been one year since I last used.
All: Applause.
I need a support group for my Soprano's addiction. I also need support for my arches and oddly enough my left nut, which is falling at such a dramatic rate that my genitalia now resembles some kind of weird pendulum for a cannibal's grandfather clock - but that's a topic for another blog (bet you can't wait).
Where was I - oh right - I was really "jonesing" for a Soprano's fix Sunday night. You see each and every Sunday night I become overwhelmed by feelings of emptiness and quiet despair. My body and my mind ache for a fix that never comes. This longing has occurred every Sunday since June 10, 2007 - the night the last episode aired.
Nothing eases my need - I have all the episodes on disc and watching them takes dulls the need for a fix but it is like taking methadone for heroin. Nothing will ever replace the real thing. I write this because I want them back, I am sick of mediocre TV and I want HBO to bring them back - don't you?
To give you a taste here are some amazing links - but I warn you it's like taking aspirin for a gun shot wound.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Ct-yAPomU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFON1IE13Lg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIgosHvo3r4
"...and I'm gonna get the guns."
13 years ago
2 comments:
woke up this morning with a boom-boom, with a boom-boom in my eye.
yeah. i hear ya. i feel ya. i look forward to entourage though, and i like the new one, trueblood. i read the book it's based on (which wasn't all that great).
i miss paulie walnuts the most. "oh!!!! did i eat!"
what the hell? have you broken your fingers or something?
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